Wednesday Emails - Never Argue With A Woman

Have you noticed the trends in the Blogosphere? Foto Fridays? TMI Thurdays? Wordless Wednesdays? What-if Wednesdays? There are many more but I'm quite familiar with the ones I mentioned above.

And this morning, I came up with one trend of my own making!

Wednesday Emails!

It doesn't rhyme but if you've been reading my previous blog, then you'll know I used to post emails I received from my mother (Oh yes she's a forward-emails-fanatic!) and cousins.

So why don't I have my own Email Series? So Wednesday Emails it will be!

Please note that some mails that I'll post may be familiar to you - either you've read it before or it's an 'old one'. So I request of you to be polite and considerate! :)

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies.

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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Old Habits Died And Came Back...

In my childhood, during summer vacations, I'd always looked forward to taking naps during the day. Computers, video games and other digital what-nots did not feature in my holidays-to-do-list back then. An acute memory, which happened many a time, where my cousin would frown just because I sat down on her freshly-made-up bed. She would scowl and say, "Oh no you can't lie down because I just made up the bed..." I used to hate her for that. I so wanted to sleep!

Her bed always looked inviting. I've never felt beckoned by my own bed like hers did. But her mother believed in taking naps! After lunch, we would wash our feet before we were allowed to grab some z's. Oh yea! That was the highlight of my day.

Few years later, taking a nap became an important calling to my hectic life. But the heavy schedule I was maintaining gradually impinged on my oh-so-deserving siesta breaks. Until I couldn't think of sleeping during the day at all! It turned into disgust.

Now I scowl when someone would suggest grabbing a few winks in the middle of the day! My mind rejects it immediately. Like I would miss out on I-don't-know-what!

Since I've met hubby he insists on me having a rest if I'm home. I simply can't contemplate closing my eyes for even one goddamn minute. I need to know what he's doing, what he's up to, who he's talking to on the phone, what is he watching on the TV, if he's eating then what is he eating etc...

It worsened when we moved to the Caribbean. He, sometimes, begs me to have a snooze because, as he says, "You won't miss a thing, I'll be here when you wake up..."

I tried but then I get bouts of restlessness...

But I think his prayers will be answered soon...since this week-end gone, I'm feeling very sleepy...I still don't know why. Last night, sitting on the couch, I, accidentally, touched my breasts - in a non-sexual way you pervert! - and they felt heavy. For one minute I thought I was pregnant! Still I wasn't alarmed and discarded the thought right away.

This morning I found out why my breasts got swollen. Yes..zeeee time of the month...just when I was getting really excited to go to the beach...hmmpphhtt...

And I'm feeling so sleepy. Methinks the time has come to revert to my old routine...have catnaps while every one else is busting their ass off to make a lil piece of money...

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Sucky Sucky Saturday

This morning I woke up, feeling rejuvenated and quite happy because as soon as I opened my eyes, I thought of tweaking my blog layout. (I know! It’s like an obsession. Grr..) Anyway, by the time I finished my breakfast the lights on the modem disappeared! Only two lights were – still are – blinking!

So I was like, “Okay I’ll wait till it comes back because we usually lose connection in bad weather. (Don’t ask me why!)”

It rained. Hard. Sun came out for a bit. Rained again. Sun pushed away the clouds. Still no connection!

I picked up a Harlequin book so that I don’t get swallowed up by a heck of boredom. I received four of them from my step mother in-law, plus 2 dresses, 1 body lotion, 1 perfume and goodies. Yay! I finished the book. Watched 2 movies on the laptop (TV cable is out too). And then I couldn’t bear the ‘silence’ (meaning I need to hear the clickety-clackety of my keyboard!) How sick is that?! Dang…I had to get off my lazy arse and plugged in my wireless modem to the modem in the main wing. The main wing is connected through a different internet service provider.

And here I am…writing this pathetic post….Mehhh…I’ll browse a bit till it’s time for me to step out! How’s – how was – your Saturday going?

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Don't Blame Me Blame 'Em

Maybe you'd cuss me, call me names and even stop dropping by after you finish reading this but I have to let it out.

But wait...you noticed something?

Yes!! Music!

I know a lot of y'all don't really like blogs having music on auto play (press mute) but I'm going through a 'sega' phase right now...those of you who don't mind it then enjoy...

Well keep on reading...

So, the more blogs I read the more fashion bloggers I find.

Is it me or has there been an uprise in women who consider themselves as fashion experts and dedicate their blog to a whole array of fashion tips, celebs wearing what for this and that event, poses with their new clothes on, their thoughts on X's dress or Y's shoes...

Please spare me!

I know what you're saying! If you don't like it then move on...don't read it...

However, a few among the fashionista wanna-bes actually got the flair for fashion...and for someone (like me) who can do with a few tips on mixing and matching colors, going through all the matrons-who-believe-they-got-a-teeny-weeny-bit-of-fashion-sense blogs is a headache!

It feels like I'm rummaging through the litter bin, full of stinky diapers, 2-day old spoiled rice and rotten bananas, for a box of cigarettes I threw away by mistake. Oh yea!

So please tell me what's going on...someone??....anyone...??

P.S: Remember my cousin came to visit me yesterday? Well she did and spent the night over by me, with her daughter and new-born son. As much as I was dreading it, everything went smoothly and we had a ball. She left for home this afternoon and I was so sad to see her leave...but all's good...I'm happy! :)

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